Memo to Fake Boobs

I haven't posted in a long time. But I'm back with a vengeance, with a precious link to this "Open Letter to the Fake Boobs my Husband Bought his Ex-Girlfriend."

A New Blog: True Hoop

This is what I've been doing lately. It's an effort to combine my day job (basketball journalism), with my new passion (blogging). It went live yesterday, and we'll see how it goes.

Unlike thebigball, this one's all about basketball. If that interests you, please come by for a visit.

As Empires Fall

The Lakers' dynasty is gone, and the wagon has been hitched to a bitter Kobe Bryant who does not appear to have what it takes to carry a winner on his own nor co-exist with another star.

It can't be good times in the Lakers' front office, and the New York Post's Peter Vecsey has a rather delicious look behind the scenes. The story is that team owner Jerry Buss (who is widely and famously reported to adore late night partying with people the age of his children, but that's not important right now) has let his son Jim call a lot of the shots lately. If this is all true--and I have no reason to believe it is or isn't--it sounds like all hell is breaking loose in a way that could keep Phil Jackson from returning to the team. Here's what Vecsey has to say about it:

Last season, I'm told Jim Buss traveled on the team charter for almost every away game. Lamar Odom supposedly was a constant companion. Jackson isn't about to allow that to happen again. Professional party animals, no matter how well connected to the boss, are utterly unwanted.

Jackson's problem with Kupchak evidently can be traced to last season when Phil went off on a tirade about Kobe being uncoachable. Mitch promptly advised Dr. Buss. Jackson, the same guy who wrote a book about private conversations with players and management, felt Kupchak should've kept his tirade "entre nous."

While Phil has forgiven Mitch, says my source, "he now wants there to be a clear line of authority that won't allow a repeat of this type of episode."

More important, I suspect, Jackson wants Jim Buss to be held accountable for his "suggestions" (firing Phil, hiring Tomjanovich and trading Shaq) and put himself on the plank as the decision maker his father has permitted him to be.

This whole thing must be super-annoying for Jim's sister Jeanie. She's Phil Jackson's girlfriend, and perhaps the Lakers' team executive whose power has perhaps been most usurped by Jim's ascension. I have no idea who leaked this story to Peter Vecsey, but if you put a gun to my head and told me to find out, I'd get my hands on her phone records and start looking for calls to the Vecsey's house.

Doug Collins is a Great Broadcaster

I remember during the 2001 NBA Finals, the Pacers seemed to be missing everything, and the Lakers seemed to be making everything, and NBC trained their cameras on the shooters' hands at the moment of release. In a special little segment Collins narrated, we saw Kobe Bryant's hands releasing a shot with rock-solid, steady, perfect form on one side of the screen. On the other side, in stark contrast, we saw Reggie Miller's hands fluttering all over like a butterfly.

At that point Kobe was making shots like crazy, and Reggie was missing like crazy. Harly anyone really knew why. Then we all saw that, and it was clear to us all. I can hardly ever remember gaining that kind of insight from television. He does that kind of stuff fairly often. So you have to give Doug Collins credit as a TV commentator. Everyone wants him, and rightly so.

Reportedly, however, there are still some people who are interested in hiring him to coach again in the NBA. ('Wolves owner) Glen Taylor, if it is true that you are among them, I beg you not to offer Collins anything without first reading Michael Leahy's book about the Washington Wizards under Collins.

It's a dogged bit of reporting. It makes it dreadfully clear that as a tactician Collins can sometimes dazzle. But as a leader of men, he is a relentless weenie.

The Ruination of Mitch Albom's Name Continues

Things aren't getting any better for disgraced Detroit Free Press columnist, and best-selling author Mitch Albom, who was recently caught in a whopper of a white lie.

The author of the feel-good Tuesdays with Morrie has made his name synonymous with misleading journalism. The current Sports Illustrated has a column by Bill Scheft (subscribers only) that begins:

"More bad news for Mitch Albom. Turns out he may have seen Morrie on a Thursday."

I promise you, he is hating this.

By the way, a funny little side story about that. I have wondered at times what his editors were thinking, signing off on an article about something that hadn't happened yet. Yet I passed up a golden opportunity to ask them that directly the other night.

I was in the media room at a Sixers-Pistons playoff game, where several dozen reporters were working away on their laptops.

Often in these workrooms, news organizations pay for phone lines to be installed so the newsroom can reach reporters to get the latest. One such phone, very near where I was standing, kept ringing and ringing, rather annoyingly for the many people who were trying to get work done in the vicinity. These temporary lines don't have voicemail, so it can ring all night. It seemed the editor at the other end wanted it to.

After about ten rings I toyed with the idea of picking it up. Before I did, I glanced over to see whose phone it was. The neat little laser-printed placard taped to that part of the folding table read: "Mitch Albom, Detroit Free Press. "

It stopped ringing before I could answer with a peppy "America's most creative sports reporter speaking, how can I help you?"

The Flip Side

As Eric Marentette notes in his Blazers blog, there are lots of indications in today's papers that the Blazers may be moving in on Coach Flip Saunders.

Meanwhile in Minnesota, Timberwolves' owner Glen Taylor has been going to some trouble to explain why exactly Saunders isn't the coach there any more (as explained by Brian Hamilton of the St. Paul Pioneer Press):

"Flip was probably a person that got along with his players pretty well - he certainly wasn't real tough," Wolves owner Glen Taylor said last week, referring to ex-coach Flip Saunders. "But probably if we can find someone who handles it a little bit more like McHale handled it - that in practice probably is a little more direct and to the point and calls people out - that would probably be ideal for us.

"I don't mean a real strong disciplinarian, because I think that's too much of a switch. But probably somebody that at least in practices . . . can make sure we make some of the needed changes we make on this team. We're saying we need some changes, so I think we've got to have somebody strong enough that can do that now."

You can read the whole article here (free registration required).

Tough or not, I'm in favor of the hire, because to me competence is paramount. A personal style that meshes with a team's perceived needs is less important. By my estimation, Saunders is demonstrably more competent than all of the other candidates whose names we have heard tossed around (save Phil Jackson, who the Blazers probably don't have a real shot at anway).

Skipping College: Darius Miles and Sebastian Telfair

Two Portland Blazers are discussed in this recently updated report about basketball players who skip college. College hoops expert Van Coleman has some interesting thoughts about Blazers' rookie Sebastian Telfair:

"It was a surprise to all of us: Not that he got drafted, but that he went as high as he did," Coleman says. "He went ahead of a bunch of players that had a bigger initial return."

And:

"He will be a guy who runs the show -- he's closer to [Tony] Parker than he is to Marbury."

Huffington Post

There's sort of a snooty new celebrity-laden blog over at www.huffingtonpost.com and I can't find too much to fall in love with over there. (For one thing, I have never been a Harry Shearer fan. I always feel like he could use an aggressive editor.)

It has only been up a few days. I'm sure there will eventually be plenty of good stuff there. But in the meantime, my favorite thing is from someone I'd never heard of, former SNL writer Adam McKay. Way back during the Dean campaign, I was advocating that democrats should sponsor Nascar racecars. McKay reports on the same idea:

These are working class people, most of whom have relatives in the military. If anyone on the planet should care about the DNC it's these people who are being ripped off on their taxes, poisoned by reduced EPA standards, deprived of good public education, and sent to fight wars based on lies. Why not just put an ad on a car and take the huge boos it would garner in the gut. Like a real political party.

The NBA Draft is Next Month

And I know there's a lot of playoff basketball between now and then, but it's never too soon to start worrying about how my beloved Blazers might be able to nab a top-flight shooting guard.

Most people think the best one out there, in the long run, is high-schooler Gerald Green who made a name for himself by winning a dunk contest on national TV. But now we're just starting to learn a new name, one that hasn't come up much in the press at all: Tiras Wade.

According to Jonathan Givony at DraftCity.com--an eager beaver who is clearly doing his best to come up with complete draft news, despite being something of an outsider in an insider's game--this kid is for real:

His jump shot is a thing of beauty, he catches the ball, elevates and releases all in one fluid motion, in a machine like way that comes off his hands exactly the same every single time. His shooting is without a doubt one of his biggest strengths, and he has the size and skill to get it off almost whenever he pleases.

Inside the arc is where Wade really surprised me. While his perimeter game is all about finesse, once he steps inside the arc he is all about power and tenacity, taking the ball to the hoop and finishing strong with the type of nastiness that is extremely impressive to watch in person.

You can read Givony's full review of Wade's workout here.

Bad Time to be a Sonics Fan

This has been a very exciting season for the Seattle Sonics. Frankly, they were supposed to suck, but somehow emerged as one of the league's best teams.

Now they drew an unlucky second-round foe: the mighty San Antonio Spurs.

But those Seattle faithful, including my friend Ben, they are believers.

So Ben got all excited to watch game on one Mother's Day. But somehow he mixed up the time and turned on the TV to learn that the game was already over. And game one of that series has to rank as one of the worst in Sonics history. Not only did the Sonics lose badly, but they also had their star, and another key player both sprain their ankles in the first half.

Hard to imagine how that could go worse, for Ben or the Supes.

The only thing left to hope for: some kind of seige mentality inspiring the team to great heights. It could happen.

Assessing Detroit-Indiana

Watching the Detroit-Indiana series, I'm noticing the following:

• Tayshaun Prince, who plays so very will for the slow-it-down Pistons, gets out on the break and finishes the alley-oop as well as anyone. He's fast and long and ready to throw it down. I promise you that he sometimes fantasizes about playing with Phoenix or Dallas or some other fast-breaking team that would let him score 25 a night.

• Fred Jones is on the list of players I'd like to have on my team. Those guys with long arms, quick legs, and and sharp minds are all winners (see the aforementioned Tayshaun Prince). There was a play in the third quarter just now when two players and the ball were all floating out of bounds together. Jones had the reach and the brain to snare the ball, chuck it off a Piston into the crowd. Pacer ball.

• Steve Kerr pointed out that earlier this season the Pistons won a game without scoring a basket in the entire fourth quarter. That's some sweet D.

• Seeing Dale Davis back in Pacer yellow, it's almost like the bad dream of Portland and Golden State never happened. I bet that throwback idea is selling at least 20o tickets a game to Pacer games. People love those lunch-pail guys.

• Jamaal Tinsley is a great example of a point I am always making: to get open, you don't need to be faster than the man guarding you. You just need to be able to get to a spot where he isn't. Speed helps, but being shifty is just as good.

• Tinsley didn't play high school basketball.

• Rasheed Wallace is an amazing player on an amazing player, but he has some flaws. One of them is little hands. Watch: the drops a lot of alley-oop passes, and loses a fair percentage of 50/50 balls because of it.